Like everyone else, Tyas gradually grew into an adult. However, the scars of her bullying accompanied her over the years: “There was a time that I fear men. I had a very different perception of men – I have always chosen the wrong type of man as my partner. It was a very deep, enduring scar. It strongly affected my life… I was bullied at such a young age. What children suffer at the age below 13 definitely etches itself into the sub-conscious… Therefore, I always speak out against the cruelty and crime of bullying. If a child commits a crime, it’s the fault of their elders. ‘Elders’ mean not just blood-related parents, but adults and older children around them. How you treat children, that’s how you teach them to treat others,” she declared painfully.
The scars of Tyas’ bullying were so deep, it literally took her decades to even become aware that something was wrong with her: “It wasn’t until 2020 that I became aware that there are many scars in my subconscious. My psychologist has become my close friend, and she suggested that I meet up with my father and get closure. Therefore, I met with him and apologized for my behavior, which frequently differs from what he expects of a daughter.
In turn, I also forgave him for not giving me the fatherly love and guidance that I needed since I was little. After all, my parents divorced when I was only in Elementary School. Even worse, it happened during the worst of my male classmates’ bullying. I ended up seeing men with a twisted perception… You know the ‘Law of Attraction’? What you focus on is exactly what will come to you? Well, I don’t like violent and abandoning men, I fear men, and I ended up getting stuck with exactly this type of men when I grew up,” she admitted.
After making her peace with her father, Tyas felt a burden lifted off her heart. She felt more confident in the steps she is taking in life: “Alhamdulillah, praised be Allah, what a relief. I finally become more aware as a woman and a mother, that many other women and mothers suffered like I did. Therefore, I always open myself to hearing about others’ pains and troubles, and I am never ashamed to share my own story. Hopefully, the story of what I’ve gone through may help others, because I know what it’s like to be alone. I never want others to feel the same things I did – hurting for a long time because of wrong choices,” she declares.
