Jakarta, IO – The Javanese set traditional criteria to select a new son- or daughter-in-law: bibit (“seed”, as in whose bloodline the boy or girl is), bebet (“dress”, the boy or girl’s social and financial status and reputation), and bobot (“weight”, their personal characteristics, educational level, and profession). These criteria have been used by families to determine a choice spouse for their adult children for generations. An old understanding of this philosophy has pushed couples to break up “unconventional” relations. Because they have different educational levels, economic background, or tribe, race, or religion, they feel that they, and their relationship, will not be able to meet the expectations of their families and society.
‘Love’ was never considered to be an important consideration. However, young adults nowadays now have the opportunity to explain their views about their selected future spouses. This means that now they have a better chance to harmonize their own views with those of their respective families, and of society. Society views do matter, in spite of all, because married couples are acknowledged to be adults, legitimate members of society,” said clinical psychologist and interpersonal relations researcher Pingkan Rumondor, M. Psi., in the media meet organized by Closeup toothpaste in Jakarta, Tuesday (09/08/2022).